HIDDEN TRUTHS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS .

  

A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with a group of student leaders in Seattle, Washington about finding the right relationship partner and developing a healthy and productive romantic relationship that is built to last.  During the presentation, I explained to each of the student leaders that it's not only important to develop a list of qualities that you desire in a future relationship partner, but it's also extremely important to understand that these great qualities you desire in your future relationship partner will not guarantee you a healthy and productive relationship.  In essence, you can find someone that has all the characteristics that you desire in a potential relationship partner, but if you and your relationship partner do not ask yourself the key questions to developing a healthy and productive relationship, it will not work out!

So, throughout the entire relationship workshop session in Seattle, Washington, instead of focusing our efforts on the qualities to search for in a potential relationship partner, I took the time to provide each of the student leaders with four questions that I believe each of them must ask themselves before they engage in a serious romantic relationship.  Personally, I believe these four questions are not only foundational questions for a successful, healthy, and productive relationship, but they are four questions that can determine the success and happiness of a romantic relationship with anyone.  As we all engage in this season of love, romance, and relationships, I challenge you to consider these four questions before you engage in a serious romantic relationship.

Question #1

Are you Compatible?

The first question that I believe every individual must ask themselves before they engage in a serious romantic relationship is, do we get along with one another harmoniously, do we complement one another, do we like to be around one another, and am I content with the physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual, social, and intellectual level of my relationship partner?  In essence, if my relationship partner never changed, would I be completely satisfied with the state of my relationship partner on all levels.

  Personally, I believe this is an important question to ask because I have found that many people experience unproductive relationships because they involve themselves in serious relationships based on potential rather than reality.  Unfortunately, what some of these people discover is that the qualities they thought they could change never do and they end up breaking up with their significant other because they were never fully content with who that person was in the beginning.  Be content and compatible with the person before you engage in a serious romantic relationship.
     

Question #2

Do you Share Common Values?

The second question that I believe every individual must ask themselves before they engage in a serious romantic relationship is, do we share common beliefs, ideas, perspectives, and philosophies about life?

  The primary reason why I believe this question is so important to ask is because our values not only dictate our behaviors and actions, but common values shared by two parties strengthen the relationship, create more synergy in the relationship, and protect the relationship from future pain.  In essence, one of the reasons why people experience unhealthy, unproductive, painful, and bad relationships is because they fail to learn about the true values of someone or they decide to overlook the true values of someone before they involve themselves in a serious romantic relationship.  Whatever you do, don't become that person!

Question #3

Do you have Effective Communication?

The third question that I believe every individual must ask themselves before they engage in a serious romantic relationship is, do we effectively communicate with one another?  In essence, do we listen to one another, do we understand one another, do we know how to love one another, do we deal with conflict effectively, do we respect and trust one another, do we communication respectively with one another, and most importantly, do we have intimate conversations with one another.

  The primary reason why I believe this question is so important to ask is because effective communication is not only the foundation of any great relationship, but when you have effective communication with your significant other, you truly learn about who your relationship partner is, you are able to create an amazing relationship, you can become the boyfriend or girlfriend that your relationship partner desires in their significant other, and you avoid the disasters that manifest in a relationship because of ineffective communication.

Question #4

Do we Share A Common Purpose?

The fourth question that I believe every individual must ask themselves before they engage in a serious romantic relationship is, do we have a common purpose?  In essence, do you and your relationship partner have a unified set of reasons why you both have chosen to involve yourselves in a serious romantic relationship?

  The primary reason why I believe this question is so important to ask is because a relationship that is developed with a common purpose not only brings unity, passion, synergy, inspiration, and amazing appreciation to the relationship, but it protects you from the temptation and challenges that will arise in every romantic relationship.  For example, when you share a common purpose with someone that goes beyond the characteristics of a person, you are more likely to abstain from temptation and overcome some of the difficult challenges that arise in every relationship because your common purpose serves as the precious diamond of your relationship that cannot be replaced.

Obviously, there are more keys to sustaining a healthy and productive relationship, but these are four foundational questions that we should all consider before we engage in a serious romantic relationship. 

Don't SETTLE For LESS in a RELATIONSHIP!

JOSHUA FREDENBURG'S VIDEO BLOG